{"id":100616,"date":"2022-12-17T17:05:33","date_gmt":"2022-12-17T15:05:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.reunion68.se\/?p=100616"},"modified":"2022-12-17T08:20:50","modified_gmt":"2022-12-17T06:20:50","slug":"22-05-84","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.reunion68.se\/?p=100616","title":{"rendered":"Princess Hanukkah"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"<\/a>Princess Hanukkah<\/a><\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/h5>\n

GABRIELLE KAPLAN-MAYER<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\n

How I got the name, and why I\u2019m struggling to find my magic this year.<\/strong><\/span>
\n.<\/h4>\n


\nI met Mitch at a party the weekend before Christmas. A friend introduced us, explaining that Mitch was an aspiring writer, too. Hanukkah overlapped with Christmas that year and when Mitch invited me to a movie on Christmas Day, I imagined us lighting candles together that evening\u2013if things felt right.<\/span><\/p>\n

\n
\n

He was late to the cinema; in those days before cellphones, I figured he\u2019d either blown me off or been run over by a taxi. I was about to get a ticket to\u00a0The English Patient<\/em> for myself when he finally showed. The movie had started and he insisted that he couldn\u2019t go in if he\u2019d missed the first five minutes\u2014what about getting something to eat instead?<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

I suggested hopping on the train to Chinatown but Mitch proclaimed that\u00a0he hated Chinese food.<\/em> I tried to stay open-minded as we walked through the quiet Chicago streets, finally stumbling on an open diner.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

Mitch launched into a monologue about the new play he was writing, describing the winding plot in great detail and asking for my advice on the ending and whether I could introduce him to my theater friends. I finally got it: He didn\u2019t want a date with me, he wanted a free playwriting workshop.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

I finished my coffee, threw a few dollars on the table and said goodbye. He asked where I was going.\u00a0To pick up Chinese food,\u00a0<\/em>I replied. I was happy to go light the Hanukkah candles on my own.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

It was dark but for my landlord\u2019s Christmas lights as I entered my apartment building, cartons of veggie lo mein and broccoli with garlic sauce in tow. I filled my\u00a0hanukkiyah<\/em> with the primary-colored candles that my mom had mailed me.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

I said the blessings then turned on the radio for company. That\u2019s when I heard her: Linda Lavin. I knew that voice, from\u00a0Alice,\u00a0<\/em>a TV show I watched every week growing up. She was telling the tale of a Jewish girl named Shirley Abromowitz, who was starring in her school\u2019s Christmas show. I was riveted. The\u00a0Selected Shorts\u00a0<\/a>announcer explained the story was Grace Paley\u2019s “The Loudest Voice<\/a>.\u201d In it, her parents were immigrants, trying to make sense of their precocious child as the Christmas pageant star:<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
\n

My father couldn\u2019t think of what to say to that. Then he decided: \u201cYou\u2019re in America, Clara, you wanted to come here. In Palestine the Arabs would be eating you alive. Europe you had pogroms. Here you got Christmas . . . Some joke, Ha?\u201d<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
\n

\u201cVery funny, Misha. What is becoming of you? If we came to a new country a long time ago to run away from tyrants, and instead we fall into a creeping pogrom, that our children learn a lot of lies, so what\u2019s the joke? Ach, Misha, your idealism is going away.\u201d<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
\n

\u201cSo is your sense of humor.\u201d<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
\n

The radio, the candles, Linda Lavin, and Grace Paley had given me the Hanukkah gift that I didn\u2019t know I was seeking.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

The story reminded me of my grandmother Minerva, a first-generation child of Eastern European immigrants who, like Shirley, was chosen for the leads in her school plays and who often translated the new world for her Yiddish-speaking parents.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

I was the fourth generation here in America. It hit me then, the power of simply turning on the radio to hear a story about a Jewish girl navigating Christmas written by a Jewish woman and starring a Jewish actress. All of the sacrifices made by those who came before so that I could be here, have that moment, my Jewish-Christmas Hanukkah in safety and peace.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

I forgot about the botched date. My ancestors felt close to me as I placed the Hanukkah candles in the window. As they melted, their reflection seemed to dance in the winter wind.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

From that year on, I leaned into my love for Hanukkah; I wore my Jewishness proudly through December. I was the friend who invited everyone over for latkes and vodka. I wrote Hanukkah plays for my students and helped a friend stage a version of Hershel and the Hanukkah Goblins<\/em>. When I met and married my Jewish-Buddhist husband, we started hosting the annual Hanukkah party for his extended family, making playlists with Erran Baron Cohen and the Maccabeats, filling bowls with\u00a0fair trade gelt<\/a>, creating latke recipes to satisfy even the gluten-free and vegan among us. Every year, I make time to listen to \u201cThe Loudest Voice.\u201d<\/span><\/div>\n
\n

One night, when a friend coming for dinner stepped into my kitchen decorated with silver and blue sparkling stars and dreidels, Hanukkah potholders and tablecloths and salad tongs\u2014this in the years before you could buy such kitsch at Target\u2014she dubbed me Princess Hanukkah, and I\u2019ve worn the name proudly ever since. Some may dismiss my extravagance, consider Hanukkah a minor holiday, imagine that all my luster is just a competition with Christmas. But that\u2019s not what I feel; for me, Hanukkah is an ongoing portal toward meaning and joy.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

Living as a religious minority in the U.S., I\u2019ve always felt that we can\u2019t compete with the Christmas culture around us\u2014nor do I want to\u2014but I can create a Hanukkah sanctuary in our home: a Holy Temple in time, light in the darkness of Kislev, Eric Kimmel books and Adam Sandler playlists, the smell of oil that stays in the house when we fry our own latkes and sufganiyot. Plus eight nights of presents for the kids. The connection of it all tethering them to their ancestors.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

My favorite part of the eight days is sitting with the candles, catching the light and shadows they cast in the windows.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

By this point in December, in 2022, I would have normally taken out my\u00a0hanukkiyot<\/em> collection to scrape off any bits of wax remaining from last year. I would have put up the decorations that I hang outside of my house: the Hanukkah flag and matching banner.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

Instead, I\u2019m ruminating about which community candle lightings feel safe to go to, wondering what security measures are in place.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

I was riding the train with my 17-year-old son last week and saw his gold Star of David necklace hanging out of his shirt and my impulse was to tell him to tuck in the necklace. I stopped myself from saying anything and let him wear it out, but I hated that it\u2019s a question, and how I don\u2019t know whether in a month or in a year things may be worse and I\u2019ll have to tell him to hide his star.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

I\u2019m thinking back to the conversation of Clara and Misha, Shirley Abromowitz\u2019s parents, their 1930s, new-to-America conversation about whether living in a Christian country is no big deal or whether in fact, there might be a slow-building pogrom here that we just don\u2019t see.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

My grandmother Minerva is no longer here on earth, but sometimes she speaks to me when my fear becomes a knot inside me.\u00a0Princess Hanukkah<\/em>, she says,\u00a0this moment in time is what all of the Hanukkahs in your life were preparing you for.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

I know that she is right and when the first night of Hanukkah comes, we will fill our home with light and shine it out the window.<\/span><\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
\n

Gabrielle Kaplan-Mayer<\/strong> is a writer and educator based in Philadelphia. She teaches\u00a0online workshops\u00a0<\/a>at the intersection of writing and spiritual growth. She is drafting a memoir about ongoing conversations with her ancestors.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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Princess Hanukkah GABRIELLE KAPLAN-MAYER How I got the name, and why I\u2019m struggling to find my magic this year. . I met Mitch at a party the weekend before Christmas. A friend introduced us, explaining that Mitch was an aspiring writer, too. Hanukkah overlapped with Christmas that year and when Mitch invited me to a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[6],"tags":[26,24],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.reunion68.se\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/100616"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.reunion68.se\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.reunion68.se\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.reunion68.se\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.reunion68.se\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=100616"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.reunion68.se\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/100616\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":100635,"href":"https:\/\/www.reunion68.se\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/100616\/revisions\/100635"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.reunion68.se\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=100616"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.reunion68.se\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=100616"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.reunion68.se\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=100616"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}