{"id":73005,"date":"2019-09-10T17:05:59","date_gmt":"2019-09-10T15:05:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.reunion68.se\/?p=73005"},"modified":"2019-09-05T15:47:50","modified_gmt":"2019-09-05T13:47:50","slug":"10-05-45","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.reunion68.se\/?p=73005","title":{"rendered":"60 REALLY IS THE NEW 40"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"<\/a>60 REALLY IS THE NEW 40<\/a><\/strong><\/span><\/h5>\n

BATYA L. LUDMAN<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\n

Life is short. I sincerely hope that you\u2019ll work on making the most of it. I personally think that it\u2019s worth it.<\/strong><\/p>\n

BE IN the moment.. (photo credit: PIXABAY)<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

I’v just turned the age my mom was when she died. I had a knee replacement nine months ago and I\u2019ve passed the five-year mark since my\u00a0breast cancer<\/strong><\/span><\/a>\u00a0diagnosis. I bought a Fitbit and discovered that the amount of deep sleep I get each night is much less than I imagined. Wow, have I been driving my husband crazy. I recognize that I have lots of work to do on myself!<\/span><\/p>\n

Five years ago I became a \u201cone in nine\u201d statistic. I walked into the clinic that I\u2019d been attending for 10 years, because of a previous scare, only to discover that this time I really did have breast cancer. (I wrote two columns about it at the time). I hate statistics, in spite of having had to take a course in it in graduate school. Now they say one in eight women will develop breast cancer. In these past five years I saw myself as neither a statistic nor a survivor. Rather, I had a\u00a0cancerous<\/strong><\/span>\u00a0<\/a>lump, I had surgery (it was removed), treatment, and life moved on. None of it was fun, but as I\u2019ve taught my patients who have experienced trauma, the event is now over. It had a beginning, a middle, and thankfully an end. And yes, I had side effects necessitating additional surgeries. Any treatment leaves scars that go far beyond the reach of the surgeon\u2019s knife, but they are what they are. If you are thinking: See, it\u2019s never really over \u2013 what in life is?<\/span><\/p>\n

Where does one go from here? We each have our story. Though I\u2019ve left out other tales of pain and suffering over the years, there are definitely far worse stories than mine. We hear about them daily and know the impact extends far beyond ourselves.<\/span>
\nWhat\u2019s the key takeaway message?<\/span><\/p>\n

How you choose to view the events in your life will determine how you choose to respond to them. I hope that, in rereading this sentence, you understand that you hold the key to your own well-being. You may have little or no control over the occurrence of an event, but you certainly have a choice as to how you are going to deal with it. You can see yourself as helpless and the situation hopeless, or you, and only you, can empower yourself to deal with it as best as you can.<\/span><\/p>\n

If 60 is the new 40, it\u2019s wonderful to have recently regained 20 years. I fully expect to live my life with the enthusiasm of someone climbing the hill but in no way over the hill. I intend to live life to the fullest until my last breath. It sure beats the alternative.<\/span><\/p>\n

Life has many challenges, and no matter how unexpected, we can and do cope, or can certainly learn to do so with help from others. Yes, there will be uncertainties, as there always are in anything, but doing something, whatever you can do, has the ability to change your situation. It\u2019s all about your attitude. With any challenge, the real question is, \u201cHow will I let this impact my life and that of others who depend on me?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

HERE ARE eight suggestions for those struggling more than they\u2019d like:<\/span><\/p>\n

    \n
  1. \n
      \n
    1. Reach out to someone you trust and let them know what\u2019s going on. You might discover that having someone else there for you, who cares, can make the difficult moments in your life a bit easier and reduce your feelings of being overwhelmed.<\/li>\n
    2. Be in the moment \u2013 don\u2019t linger in the past or in what could be. Anxiety, for example, may be expected, given your past history, but worrying about the unknown won\u2019t alter the outcome. It simply robs you of enjoying a state of calm now. Unless you know something with certainty, acknowledge that at this moment you are okay. Don\u2019t suspend living.<\/li>\n
    3. Focus on things that you can change and make a difference in. It might be what you eat, your weight, exercise, time with a loved one, work.<\/li>\n
    4. We have so much to be grateful for. Every morning, say aloud a list reminding yourself of yesterday\u2019s positives. If you\u2019re struggling to come up with things, you\u2019re not paying attention to the small blessings around you. You just may need a walk.<\/li>\n
    5. When you don\u2019t feel well, it can be very difficult to get outside of your story and help someone else. You might be surprised to discover that the caring you show for them can actually lessen your own discomfort. Distract yourself by playing a game with someone, visiting a friend, or through reading a book to someone. Paying it forward feels good.<\/li>\n
    6. Say thank you. Those caring for you may not have the same discomfort as you, but listening to you complain, helping out and being there when they have their own list of things they\u2019d rather be doing, deserve immense appreciation from you. Caregiving is difficult, and your caregivers need care also. Help them take a break and recharge their batteries.<\/li>\n
    7. Take notice of how you act. Start your morning off saying that you won\u2019t complain and then notice just how often you do! Even a minor complaint such as \u201cit\u2019s hot\u201d can carry negativity when paired with yet more grumbling that you may not even be aware of. If you need to vent, acknowledge it, state what\u2019s going on, think of what could possibly change the situation even a bit, let the past go and move on. You have living to do. Check out your words \u2013 are you using words like \u201calways,\u201d \u201cnever,\u201d \u201cmust\u201d or \u201cshould have\u201d? Work on yourself through kindness and caring, not through criticism and unreasonable expectations for yourself or others.<\/li>\n
    8. Make a decision to take a vacation from your problems. It can be as short as an hour or as long as you\u2019d like it to be, but when the thoughts surface, remind yourself that you can\u2019t control what thoughts jump into your head, but you can control what you do with them, and at this moment, you are putting them in the drawer, and you\u2019ll revisit them when you need to. Do you really want to think about the surgery that you might need, 20 times a day? Assuming that thinking about it a few days prior to the surgery is enough, tug on the imaginary rubber band on your wrist and in an emphatic voice to yourself, say \u201cI am not wasting my time and energy on this right now.\u201d I promise you that it works.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

      Life is short. I sincerely hope that you\u2019ll work on making the most of it. I personally think that it\u2019s worth it.<\/span><\/p>\n

      \n
      The writer is a licensed clinical psychologist in private practice in Ra\u2019anana, and author of Life\u2019s Journey: Exploring Relationships \u2013 Resolving Conflicts. She has written about psychology in The Jerusalem Post since 2000. ludman@netvision.net.il;\u00a0www.drbatyaludman.com<\/strong><\/span><\/a><\/em><\/span><\/div>\n
      \n
      \n
      \n
      Z<\/span>awarto\u015b\u0107 publikowanych artyku\u0142\u00f3w i materia\u0142\u00f3w nie reprezentuje pogl\u0105d\u00f3w ani opinii Reunion’68,<\/em>
      \nani te\u017c webmastera Blogu Reunion’68, chyba ze jest to wyra\u017anie zaznaczone.
      \nTwoje uwagi, linki, w\u0142asne artyku\u0142y lub wiadomo\u015bci prze\u015blij na adres:
      \n<\/em>      webmaster@reunion68.com<\/span><\/a><\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
      \n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

      60 REALLY IS THE NEW 40 BATYA L. LUDMAN Life is short. I sincerely hope that you\u2019ll work on making the most of it. I personally think that it\u2019s worth it. BE IN the moment.. (photo credit: PIXABAY) I’v just turned the age my mom was when she died. I had a knee replacement nine […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[3],"tags":[26,24],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.reunion68.se\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/73005"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.reunion68.se\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.reunion68.se\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.reunion68.se\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.reunion68.se\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=73005"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/www.reunion68.se\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/73005\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":73023,"href":"https:\/\/www.reunion68.se\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/73005\/revisions\/73023"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.reunion68.se\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=73005"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.reunion68.se\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=73005"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.reunion68.se\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=73005"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}